U-Haul Syndrome, Bullies and Abusers, A Ministers view of LGBT, Health Care 4-08

Sermon Archive

U-Haul Syndrome, Bullies and Abusers, A Ministers view of LGBT, Health Care 4-08

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U-Haul Syndrome 4-6-08

     There is a major difference in how Men and Women progress in relationships. The Men of the World are often action driven when they bond with other Men it is many times through doing. Many Womenhave found this to be hard to understand. Men are mostly not seeking committed relationships until they reach the stage in their lives where it seems like the right time. They then look around in a more discerning way. Before then they often revel in the “Chase”. They do not see having sex as a culmination of a commitment. They see it as having fun.

     When a man decides that it is time to settle down they look for different traits in women. They look for more supportive and nurturing Women. If they are interested in kids they look for women that express the traits of both sexy and motherly.

     The view point of a woman is very different. Every interaction carries the potential for commitment. When a woman sees someone they are attracted to; they often see the sexy traits first but blended with those thoughts is the possibility of “Going steady”. These traits are both blended and multipled when you start talking about the folks who are attracted to those of the same gender. It is very interesting to see how this blending expresses itself. It has led to the grain of truth inherent in the stereotypes that most people associate with Gays and Lesbians.

     This situation multiplies the tendencies of each gender. It becomes literaly the set of traits times 2. If it is men they may find frequent partners a great way of “Chasing”. It is seen as having fun. No harm no foul. It can lead to an extreme detachment of emotions from Sexual expression. The idea of commitment is not as strong until and if a man decides it is time to settle down. The extremes can be seen as a way to gain status through sheer volume of partners.

     Taken to it’s sad end it is a tired old man who is alone because he never formed a bond with any of his sex partners. In this situation the lack of ability to look at the men in his life as more than a means to an end leads to a life devoid of basic human connections that bonding with a partner can provide.

     Now let’s look at the way women form relationships. A Lesbian sees a cute woman and wants to get to know them. If they take the time to actually get the friendship portion of a relationship started it will deepen the bond if they become partners later. They can “Just be friends” if the initial attraction did not reflect the traits they need in a partner. The traits that given time would drive them crazy if they were together.

     In the times past a woman was deterred from going to bed with someone immediately because it would “make them look bad”. It might get them pregnant, ruin their reputation, etc. With the unplanned pregnancy removed from the equation it got easier to act on first impulses. As for looking bad, if they are Lesbians, they already “look bad”. They have decided that being true to their hearts is more important than outside condemnation. As a result it quits being a deterrent to having sex earlier in a getting to know someone stage.

     The result is women have sex early in the getting to know each other stage. It is sometimes meant to be just great fun. The problem is that when a woman has sex with someone it drags very intense feelings into the mix. A sense that they were meant to be together is so strong that if both women feel this strongly they try to commit pretty much immediately.

     The bonding of sex can foster a false sense of partnership. It can throw people who basically know nothing about each other into a very emotional situation where sexual attraction is confused with Destiny. Everyone in the Lesbian community knows this is so true they have a name for it. It is called the U-Haul Syndrome. It is laughed about by those not currently caught in the thrall of this early bonding.

     With the advent of the Internet there is a similar situation. The sex is virtual. It has even more pit falls than in person jumping into bed. People post sensual images with the insinuation that this is what they are “offering” to the people they post to. I have often laughed at seeing several people on someone’s “Flirt list” gettingb the same image. Somehow this lacks a certain focus on the one person they are interested in. This lack of focus would be obvious if they were on a date in person with someone new. How would you feel if the date gave the same “Line” to everyone else in the room? You would be furious if you had any self worth. You would quickly allocate that date into the not for me category.

     Unfortuneately this is not happening on the internet. So there are many flirts and lonely people virtual dating and “sleeping around” with many people. Frankly there are also stalkers, unbalanced people and liars that also use the internet for fun and games.

     Because of the nature of the internet it is important to build friendships before getting to the U-Haul reserved for your move across country. Be patient, if they truly like you they will understand. If they are not ready you will find out if they are honest. There is no substitute for in person interactions. I urge you to refrain from sex on that first visit. See if you enjoy their company in person. Look for those signals that could not be observed long distance. You may figure out that they are just not your type. This is a great investment in your possible future relationship. If that first visit goes well you may reassess if the lust and attraction you felt is real or an illusion. I have known of very good relationships starting with a friendship on the internet.

     On the internet it is important to take what you hear with a grain of salt. You are at a severe disadvantage in reading body language and the true intent of the person on the other end of the line.

     As you can see the traits of the genders are important in determining how you bond with others. The good news is that the blending of Male and Female traits can make men more able to bond with a goal of a partnership in mind. In women it can calm down the urge to commit immediately if there is an initial attraction.

     For those people who do not embrace this blending at least you can look objectively on the object of your affections. If you are a man you might be more sensitive to a woman that seems invloved very quickly. If you are a woman you might not take every suitor’s sexual overtures as an expression of their undying commitment to you and you alone.

     Everyone should consider the Old Fashioned concept of Courtship. The idea reflects that of not giving away something you want to mean more than a fun One Night Stand. By understanding that God gave us sex to bond with each other it may encourage you to value it as a special gift to save for Special People in your life.

     May you find that Special Someone you are meant to be with. I pray that you have your gift ready to share with them. I pray that it will be a culmination of your depth of knowledge of the other as well as your Desire to share with them in a Sexual Way.

God Bless the Whole World, No Exceptions.

Angel Eliza 41

Bullies and Abusers 4-13-08

     As a child I found myself in a unique position. I was very small and was sick often. As a result there were people in school who felt I would be an ideal object to Bully. I always tried to use the school hierarchy to stop this Bullying. Often the teacher would down play my discomfort. They would say that I should just avoid these people. When I would tell the teacher that it was their responsibility to protect me I would hear the Cop Out of well I did not see them hit you. Or maybe it would be an abdication of responsibility. They would say, “I can not do anything unless I witness it happen.”

     If these teachers had their way, these budding Bullies would be given the time they needed to mature into true terrorists of others. I was raised to challenge inequity and fight for justice. To accept the bullying would have told them that they would get away with it. I was taught that I had a Right to keep going “Over the Heads” of others if they did not do their Duty. I went to the Principle with my request that something be done about the Bully. The first time I went I was told that the teacher would have to maintain order in her classroom.

     I could not think of anyone higher to talk with. I told the Principle that at some point I would be pushed too far. If that happened I would defend myself to the best of my ability.

Within the week this Bully escalated the abuse. I defended myself with force enough to land them flat on their backs, crying. What amazed me was that the teacher suddenly became a disciplinarian. She blamed me for hitting this girl who no one had defended me against. She sided with the girl because what I did was not able to be ignored, like she had ignored my problems.

     When I was sent to the Principles Office; I told him that I felt justified in defending myself in this teacher’s lawless environment. He agreed and I was not punished.

     After that there were very few people who dared to Bully me. They unfortunately shifted their Abuse to others that seemed to be easy targets. Still the teacher refused to take any actions to stop the Bullies. I became what I remain to this day. I did not allow the Abuse. Anyone who was Persecuted was defended by me. Any Bully that picked on them were subject to my reprisal.

     No Bully was exempt or considered too big for me to stop. After several years I had a conversation with the Principle. He had hosted me in his office on a regular basis. He accepted my justification for each act of defense of some other kid that was being Bullied. He told me that I had been an answer to a prayer. Before I started school the Bullies were rampant and unchecked. His hands had been tied by the rules. These rules stated that a teacher needed to ask for sanctions against a Bully. If the teacher did not do this step nothing could be done. If the teacher did not take responsibility for the problem and it’s resolution, he could not over rule her.

He thanked me for single handedly cleaning up this mess. He thanked me for my well placed disciplining of the Bullies. He credited me with the Pacification of the school. I told him that I only did what I felt was right.

     When I grew up this sense of responsibility for the safety of others continued. It became very rare that the response was physical, though there were some notable exceptions. I stayed a Champion of the underdog.

     I see a lack of Will to respond to stop Bullying. Our Society has continued to look the other way when a Bully Persecutes someone. Schools still do not get the point that Bullies are not just “Being Boys” or “Being Mean Girls”. They are being groomed to be much more dangerous with time. It is the responsibility of all adults to become Champions of the underdogs. It is the only way reassure those that are persecuted that they have recourse in this World.

     By not defending the helpless they are telling them that there is no justice in this World. They are being taught that Bullies run this World. They are being taught that the true leaders of the World are Bullies that can get away with anything.

     As Citizens of the World we also have a responsibility to defend those that are being Persecuted. The call to be your “Brother’s Keeper” is not a controlling Paternalistic issue. At it’s best it is the essence of being a Champion.

     I find some very inspiring works of being a Champion in the man Gandhi. The environment was oppressive for the “Colony of India”. England saw it as a protectorate. England did not think India was capable of Governing itself without the Government imposed by outside forces. The Country had ruled itself for thousands of years before it became a Colony of England. Gandhi inspired and lead a movement that brought World attention to the occupation of their Country. He did not do this with acts of Terrorism. If he had his cause would have lost all credibility. The War would have been lost before it ever began.

     He took the Indian Nation to the brink of violence. There were laws that had been imposed by England. Many restricted or prevented Historic activities. They were cultural and founded on very long traditions. He Challenged these Laws by peaceful Civil Disobedience. One of these protests was a March to the Sea.

     This March to the Sea celebrated the Ancient Tradition of going to the sea to make salt. The salt was made from the efforts of individuals of India dehydrating sea water to supply their family‘s supply of salt. There was no need to buy salt from the English. The English had outlawed the Tradition. In a Tropical environment Salt is Life. Without the supplement of salt people would die of dehydration.

     Gandhi did a great deal of planning. He publicized that they intended to march to the sea. He informed the media as well as the English Governor. He organized a huge mass of people from all walks of life and age groups. They gathered their bowls to evaporate the sea water. On the chosen day the crowd was enormous. It was a peaceful gathering. The World’s newspapers were present to document this Civil Disobedience. The English troops were there to try to stop them by barring them from the sea.

     As the march started the crowd grew bigger and more unstoppable. It march as sedately as a Glacier to the Sea. The numbers were too large for the Troops to stop without violence. With the media watching they did not dare use force against these protesters.

The families set up their salt evaporation operations on the beach. Though the total amount of salt made was very small per person, the Symbolism radiated throughout the World.

     With Gandhi’s commitment to nonviolent protest he made his point. Eventually these protests lead to World opinion forcing the English to withdraw their Government of India. This is a very good example of how you can defend the underdog without violence,

Discover the Champion in yourselves. Be Defenders of those who are not able to do it for themselves. Remember that though violence may be needed sometimes, Non Violence will bear more bountiful Fruit.

God Bless the Whole World, No Exceptions.

Angel Eliza 41

A Minister's View of LGBT 4-20-08

    I recently saw a comment on a website that stated that there was a couple who were shocked to hear that there were Christians supporting Gay, Lesbian, Bi, and Transgendered People. It did make me wonder what made them think a Christian would not be supportive of all of God's Children. Since Christians by nature are supposed to follow Jesus and his teachings, I found it interesting. I felt that there should be a response from me.

     I am a Minister for the Church of Thomas. We have a History of following Jesus and his teachings for the past 2,000 years. I hope that is long enough to be considered credible. We have never rejected Gays, Lesbians, Bi, or Transgendered People. Nor have we made outcasts of these fellow Children of God. We recognize that we are far too far from perfection to judge anyone. We all know what happened the last time there was a Perfect Person Born. Only God can Judge.

     In the New Testament verses there is not a single quote from Jesus about the subject. In the Reconciler Gospel of Thomas there is a verse; Verse 114; that directly references what Jesus did say to Thomas and his other Disciples.



     RGoT verse 114:     Peter said to Jesus, "Let Mary and all the other women leave us. They are the root and branch of sin. They are the source of all Temptaion. Women are not worthy of Eternal Life."

     Jesus responded, "I say to you males, do not look down on a female because until you are made over to be as female you will be barred from the full Inheritance in the sight of The One."

     Jesus said. "Until you are like the Lowest Angels, being in balance of body and soul; Reconciling of the male and the female, you will remain on the edge of the full glory and joy of the Brilliance of The One. The One who is all that was, is and will be.

     Being on the edge you will still be Loved and Beloved. The One knows that this is a hard lesson to learn. Or like the Angels have always known."

     Jesus said, "I myself will lead Mary of Magdala in order to make her male, so that she too may become a living Spirit, resembling you males. Every woman who will make herself male will become a full Inheritor, as well, in Heaven and the full Light of The One."

     This verse basically says that if you are not more like these outcasts you choose to judge you will never know God Completely. You can find the entire text of the Church of Thomas website on Tripod.com. Look for the heading Reconcilier Gospel of Thomas.

     I have heard the statement by Christians over the years that these fellow human beings are not Natural. I have to laugh at that justification. You see I am also a Farmer and Woodworker. These loved occupations are held as traditions passed down through the Generations from Jesus.

     These two occupations have very humbling observations attached to working in them. Both relate to the "Naturalness" of these Lesbian, Gay, Bi, and Transgendered People.

     There is nothing unnatural in same sex pairings. It is just part of the natural order of the World. I have seen it in wild animals as well as on my Farm. There is nothing more tender than two little male goats caring for each other as mates. I have seen two female wild geese nesting with an egg protectively clutched to their breasts.

     These are not isolated instances. They are in every animal that has two separate genders. They are all over the World. Since as Christians we believe that God does not make Mistakes we have come to the reasonable conclusion that these beings; animal and people; are part of God's plan. Who are we to question God's plan? Maybe these people are better able to say what is on God's mind. But that would make it hard for them to call themselves Christian, so I'm sure that is not what they mean.

     I read a study one time that said that the nautural World has basiclly the same spread of Gay, Lesbian B, and Transgendered creatures as people have. The percentages are the same as the Kinsey report came up with back in the 70's. About 10% Gay/Lesbian, and about 25% that could pair either way. As well as others that would fit the model of Transgenders.

     My experience from both woodworking and the study of the Bible support this different point of view. You see we know that there is nothing Perfect in this World.Jesus was the only Perfect one.

     In wood there are always flaws. These imperfections can be worked around. Sometimes it is the very flaws that make those wood pieces so special. The knots and knurls make the wood appealing as well as interesting. Without these flaws in the wood every finished piece would look like something made by machine of some artificial materials. It is the very irregularities that make them Unique and Special.

     Which of course leads me to the idea of God as the Master Craftsman of us All. I think God made so much diversity to keep from being bored with us kids. When God needed a Special sort of person to do a Unique job it was often the Lowly, Outsiders, Impure and Flawed among people. These people were often outside the group that was considered Righteous. Maybe the Righteous ones were only following the Letter of the Law not the Spirit of them. Apparently in God's eyes these Righteous ones were not Holy Enough. Where the Outcasts were.

     How many people would choose to tap an Outcast for an important job? Well if God's choices are any indication of worth, these people are definitely in the running for being Worthy.

     I personaly see everyone as working to get better. I do not Judge. I try to see past the surface of every person I meet. You never know what diamond in the rough God will choose next.

     Jesus asked us to Love one another. In the Last Supper Jesus gave us the Last Commandment.

     Jesus said, "Remember, as you eat this meal that I give you now, The Last Commandment. Love Each other as I have Loved You."

     Love does not look for reasons to dislike others, let alone hate them and persecute them. God wants us Kids to Get along. If a person is a good person, why would it matter who they bond with? Be careful, they may just be better examples of Jesus' Last Commandment, "Love each other as I have Loved You."

God Bless the Whole World, No Exceptions.

Angel Eliza

Health Care Sermon 4-27-08

       In the recent Political Campaining there has been a big discussion of different plans to provide Health Care to the people of the USA. I have watched these with great interest. I have seen how Europe has implemented a National Health Care. I have also seen what poor plans can do to stifle an economy. No matter how you feel on this issue there needs to be some firm plan of action.

      I was motivated to write on this subject because of a program I saw about Health Care. In the program a man named Stan Brock heads an organization named Remote Area Medical. The normal recipients of his organization’s aid are in isolated areas of the Amazon Jungle. This program showed his work in a very different venue.

     The program showed one of his missions. It was in Knoxville, Tennessee in the USA. This was inside the borders of the “Richest Country” in the World, with reportedly the best Health Care in the World. People showed up a day ahead to get a number to wait in line. These sick people slept in their cars. The temperature was quite cold.

     In the program the reporter asked what background these folks came from. The answer did not surprise me. They were working people who did not qualify for Government aid, but did not have the resources to get Health Insurance. A few had the catastrophic variety of Health Insurance. It does not cover the follow up care most would need after the “Crisis” had passed. One woman had Cervical Cancer removed but had no resources for follow up care. It was discovered that her Cancer was back. It would have been caught early and treated if she had gotten looked at earlier.

     The people far out numbered the slots that were available. About half of them had to be turned away. As you can see there is a vast need for coverage. You can see also that they were not “Free Loaders”.

     I have Health Insurance that is pretty good. My Dental coverage is a Farce. There are many problems with my teeth that have not been fixed because of the corruption and poor coverage of my Dental Insurance has prevented it. This highlights that even people with great insurance can have gaps in their coverage.

     When I lived in Hawaii I observed a different problem. The State of Hawaii had mandated that every Employer provide Health Insurance to their Employees. This sounds great. The problem became one of money. The economy of Hawaii is not very good to start with. The unemployment rate ran near 10%. Many businesses were struggling to stay open at all. These businesses then were forced to provide coverage they could not afford. One of my friends had a construction business. He had 12 Employees before this law. He and his son ran it. When he looked at the cost of complying with the law he was floored. After doing many calculations he decieded to scale back his work force to no workers. In his calculations he found that the only way to make any money above costs of operation was to just have he and his son do all of the work. Now I know a few of you might be saying, well yeah he probably was rolling in money. He did not have the money to get Health Insurance for himself let alone anyone else. A loophole in the law allowed “Owners” to not have to get the mandated Insurance.

     His workers threw a fit. They told him he could not fire them for those reasons. He told them he had no choice if he wanted to stay in business at all. He made the hard choice and Prays everyday that he does not get sick himself.

     In Europe I saw a very good Health Care. Preventative care was a major part of it. There was no mandated coverage by Employers. The Government is the Insurer. Many would think this is fantastic. It has some strong points going for it. Every Citizen is covered. If someone lets their heart disease creep up on them it is their own doing not a fear of not being able to pay for it. There is a down side. Because the Health Care is managed by the Government, there is a tax on all income to support it. In Denmark it is a considerable chunk.

     These are ways that have been implemented to deal with the problem. I have talked with people who have their “Piece of the Pie”. They have their coverage of protection for Health Care. They have often said why should we have to pay for some Bum’s Health care coverage. They might even say that the Free Clinics are for these people.

     On the flip side I know people that work 2 minimum wage jobs that are not covered. They Pray that they never need a Doctor’s care. They live Pay check to Pay check.

     I will now share my take on the situation. First if people are not healthy they do not work well, thus effecting the Economy. Second we already pay vast amounts on Emergency Room care. It is dragging our entire Health Provider System down the tubes. Many wait until they are in dire straits to go at all. Because it has been standard that all who show up at the ER should be taken care of, It has become the Provider of last resort for many people.

     Some fault the immigrants, this is wrong. The same people who critize them are often the very ones who hired them below standard wage in the first place. They are a significant part of our Country and it’s work force. By the way they do pay taxes, they just are not elligible for benefits because if they are illegal they are using false Social Security Numbers to file their taxes.

     Now why should we care? Well besides it being the Charitable and Right thing to do, there are great reasons that appeal to our Enlightened Self-Interest.

     My Mom was an Registered Nurse most of her life. I remember her saying that the training that Doctors and Nurses get in Indigent care is far broader than only people who had Health Care Coverage. Here at my Hospital there have been serious cutbacks in the money the State allocates for our Teaching Hospital’s Indigent Care. There has been a shift to a more payer customer base. This is a huge mistake.

     When Doctors are only trained on people who get care as soon as they notice something wrong there are big gaps in their education. They may never see an End Stage Renal patient. The may never see tumor development across all stages of progression. They may never see Exotic parasites or diseases. Indigent Care is the only tool to see these maladies first hand in all stages of the diseases.

     A Nation that does not provide some way for everyone within It’s Borders with care are also asking for a serious Ass Kicking. It is among the Poor, Uninsured, and Under-Insured that our next Epidemics are Incubated. It is those populations where the threats to the health of our Nation lies. By not treating these People with the same aggressive Medicine we are famous for, we leave an enormous gap in our Health Care Safety.

     To sum this up, we need Total Coverage leaving no one out of the System. We need to confront the Health Insurers with a United Front to prevent their Lobbying to water down or gouge in any proposal that makes it to Law. Last we need to understand that this coverage is for the safety of all in our Nation. Last we will pay a cost to achieve this goal. To sugar coat that aspect would be a lie. Analyze any plan put forth by the Politicians. May God grant you Good Health, or the help you need if that is not to be.

God Bless the Whole World, No Exceptions.

Angel Eliza